THE RAGING OF MY SOUL


By Odumosu Oluwafunke 

Let’s talk my friends.
I come from a closely knitted family.
However, my life is an irony,
For I am a lonely child accustomed to sitting in the dark;
I live in a house filled with people and I know that nobody sees me:
I assume I am just a slave where other kings, dwell.

My heart tells me I am loved.
Yet my mind tells me not to desire too much.
The unfathomable anguish my soul passes through is too deep for my understanding.

My soul longs for a love that will ravage me;
A love that will fill up the sparseness of my soul;
My heart desires an affection that will engulf the totality of my being.

The changes that accustomed teenage hood,
All collided to introduce emotions that were foreign to me.
Making me hunger more for an “insatiable kind of love,”
And I almost believed I was “lusting after love.”

My desires for such a love is beyond mere words.
And my vocabularies cannot find that very word to describe the longing within.
The battles of my heart have left me like a walking dead,
A zombie only aware of the world inside of me

I wonder if the normalcy of my soul is capable enough to contain the depth of the love I desire.
I wonder if my whole existence is worth the love I crave
For the futility of my soul hinders my acceptance of a love so divine

For I am a broken piece;
A trampled soul;
A rag dumped in the vilest gutter;
A vessel unfit for any efficacy.

The responsibilities of adulthood could not deter the world I had built inside of me.
Now I ask myself if I am worth being seen.

In a room filled with people,
I have chosen to be gladdened by my desires
In my lonely world, I have chosen to let my imaginations run wild,
Now I pay attention to everything around me.

My journey to the stream is more meaningful, as it serves as a balm to my woes;
The chipping of the birds as they build their nest;
All increase my desire for a companion.
A quick gaze at the fishes moving with ease in the stream,
Increases my desire to be housed by a heart.

Today,
I am submerged by the words of the fair and handsome warrior;
He constantly tells me I am a queen mother who takes her place beside the king;
That I am a woman worth so much,
He says, “embedded in my womb are the wonders of the world.”

He promises to come for me.
He has paid my bride price,
And now I bear His last name.

He says my nights wouldn’t be too cold anymore,
For He has an embrace which heals the cold;
He says my head fits perfectly on His chest.

He says I am beautiful;
That I have a home filled with boundless riches;
With the streets laid with pure gold.

As His calm words uplifts my soul,
And His promises give me hope that strengthens my heart.

Finally, the turmoil of my soul knows rest.
For now, in a room filled with people, I know a man who sees me.

I am grateful that I allowed my imaginations run wild,
For I have finally found a love that quenches the raging desires of my soul;
I have at last found the King; Christ.

 

 

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