Writing on the above subject matter has been difficult for me because of the seemingly controversial nature of the topic. However, the essence of the subject is to deal with the age-long misconceptions regarding singlehood and to throw more light about being single in a godly way.
For many, the word “beauty” and “singlehood” have no business being used in the same sentence because it may come across as being an oxymoron, the grouse being how beauty can be found in singlehood?
Singlehood, in a godly way is the state of not being married and also not being in a sexual relationship with anyone. The beauty of singlehood can be appreciated from the standpoint of the freedom it gives one to serve the Lord totally and committedly (1 Corinthians 7 vs 7 and Numbers 30 vs 3-5)
The decision to be single by anyone should be thought out very carefully before it is made. There must be a careful consideration of what singleness means and one must be ready to go all the way with the decision.
The following should be the considerations before a decision for singleness is made:
- For anyone to pledge singleness, it must be for service unto the Lord in His vineyard and not for selfish purposes. It must be a decision from the depths of the heart with genuine intentions and not due to pressure from any quarters. 1 Corinthians 7 vs 32 and 1 Timothy 4 vs 3.
- It must be a decision made after spending time to wait on the Lord and be sure that you have truly heard from the Lord and that you have peace about the decision. Proverbs 3 vs 5-6.
- It must be a decision that can stand the test of time and a person that makes this decision must not be one that is easily swept by the tide of human opinions. Psalms 125 vs 1.
- It must be a decision based on the integrity to live by the rules of godly singlehood, which is purity of the body and mind. Luke 12 vs 2 and Titus 1 vs 16.
- The decision to be single is a vow made before the Almighty God, and God expects the person making that vow to keep it. It is not something that can be casually broken off when one feels like it. God takes vows very seriously. Number 30 vs 3-5 and Judge 11 vs 30-40
The benefits of being single contrary to popular opinions are very numerous. These are not limited to, the following:
- The freedom to serve the Lord totally without any distraction. 1 Corinthians 15 vs 5.
- The ability to invest your entire time and resources to the service of God.1 Timothy 6 vs 9 and Philippians 3 vs 8.
- The ability to pack up and go to your Macedonia without recourse to a wife or husband. Acts 16 vs 9.
- The ability to pray for as long as one wishes without the interruption of family life. Colossians 4 vs 2, 1 Thessalonians 5 vs 17 and Romans 12 vs 12.
- The ability to take a fast, for as often and as long as one wishes, without recourse to a spouse. Remember the Bible says pertaining to the married folks that the husband’s body belongs to the wife and the wife’s body belongs to the husband. Therefore, a spouse can’t decide to fast for long periods without clearance from the other spouse. But the single man or woman is free from all these obligations. 1 Corinthians 7 vs. 5 and Dan 10 vs 3.
- You have no responsibility in the area of raising kids as a single person. Therefore, you can face your ministry and call squarely. One of the saddest scriptures is the scripture about Samuel’s kids ending up as bad as Eli’s kids. 1 Samuel 8 vs 1-5.
- A single person is free from the encumbrance of raising kid’s right because, in the course of full-time devotion to the Lord, the married folks may miss that aspect of raising godly kids. Matthew 24 vs 19 and Isaiah 54 vs 1
- The single person is free from a constant immediate family company, and as such he has enough ‘alone’ time to spend in the presence of the Lord for as long as he wants. Matthew 14 vs 22-23.
- A single person can volunteer for as much work in the Lord’s vineyard as possible without any second thoughts because he has the monopoly of his time and the ability to make decisions which will not affect a family. Romans 12 vs 1.
- A single person has the luxury to give up his or her entire finances for kingdom purposes as often as he wants to because he is not under financial obligation to any spouse. Matthew 19 vs 21 and Luke 12 vs 33.
- A single person can accept instructions from the Lord at the drop of a hat no matter how difficult and impromptu they maybe because no spouse is there to be affected by such an instruction. Luke 11 vs 28 and John 14 vs 15
The Bible has examples of people who chose to be single for the sake of the kingdom:
Elijah the Tishbite was a prophet who lived in the days of King Ahab. He was first mentioned in the book of 1 Kings 17 vs 1. The Lord used him mightily to turn Israel from Baal worship back to serving the living God. He was also used by God to perform so many miracles. There was no mention of Elijah having a wife or family. Even at the end of his ministry when he was taken up physically into heaven there was no mention of a wife. So we can infer from the scriptures concerning him that he was single. The Lord used Elijah so mightily because of his availability and selfless devotion to Him.
He was formerly called Saul and was first mentioned in the book of Acts 7 vs 58. Saul encountered Jesus Christ and became Paul, and the Lord used him greatly to spread the gospel. Paul was single, and this gave him the leverage to be used by the Lord in the spread of the gospel to large territories. He encouraged others to be single like him if they could cope so that they could do more for Christ. 1 Corinth 7 vs 7.
She was a prophetess, and we find her story in the book of Luke 2 vs 36-38. Anna was a widow who never bothered about remarrying after losing her husband at a very young age. She spent her days in the temple serving God with fasting and prayers day and night. She may never have been able to spend so much time in the temple of the Lord if she was not single.
There are also some great men and women who did and are still doing mighty works for the Lord and are covering nation to nation in evangelism that are/were single. Examples are Prophet Dr David Owuor (repentandpreparetheway.org). Sadhu Sundar Selveraj (jesusministry.org) and the late Kathryn Kuhlman (Wikipedia, biography ‘Daughter of Destiny’). Kathryn never remarried after her divorce but served the Lord totally until she died.
Beloved, let no man make you feel less of a human being if you have chosen the path of singlehood, to serve the Lord committedly without distraction. May the Lord who sees every sacrifice and labour in His vineyard reward you in Jesus name.