Only God gives inward peace, and I depend on him. God alone is the mighty rock that keeps me safe, and he is the fortress where I feel secure. Psalm 62: 5-6 (CEV)
The perception of your value and competence is crucial to how you deal with challenges and your capacity to handle stress.
Lacking in self-esteem, it is very easy to feel like an impostor waiting to be found out. Now is it possible to build one’s self-esteem? Yes, it is, and the benefits are so great. Some of these benefits include feeling good most of the time. When you feel bad, it doesn’t last long. A man with a good self-esteem is resilient in the face of adversity. He smiles a lot, has lots of energy and he can accomplish most of his goals. He is good at making and retaining friends; he can take a risk, he is trustworthy, independent and autonomous. Other things not seen are that a person with a high self-esteem talks to himself positively, tells the truth, forgives himself and others.
I would like to take you on a self-guided tour to help you to assess the level of development of your self-esteem. There are questions you will be expected to answer but note the following, that:
- There are no wrong answers to the questions asked, but each question is meant to assess your self-esteem.
- There is no scoring of your answers to determine how well you responded to the questions.
- You may be tempted to respond to the questions in respect of an ideal situation. Please resist that temptation and answer from a place of complete self-honesty. Following quickly after the questions are comments which are meant to serve as self-esteem enhancers. Let us go together through the questions:
- What is your reaction when you make a mistake?
- Feel ashamed and embarrassed?
- You don’t think you can make a mistake. But if you do make one, you would immediately correct it and hope no one is watching.
- You will have no fear owning up to it in public, and you were openly not to receiving help from others in fixing it.
COMMENTS: It is quite normal that no man enjoys making mistakes. No one does! It is all right to feel embarrassed when a mistake is made, but it will not be all right to deny the existence of a mistake that is so glaring or to try to push the blame on others as if you were infallible. The more mature reaction is to admit your mistakes, learn from them and take corrective actions. After all, a mistake is a mistake – no more, no less!
- When you look at yourself in the mirror what do you see?
- Someone who is attractive and confident.
- Someone who is average and often unsure about what to do in life.
- Someone who is ugly and insecure.
COMMENTS: Many of us strive to achieve external beauty, often we lose our individuality in the process. If we can accept the things we would like to change without badmouthing or beating up ourselves, we have come a long way towards self-acceptance.