Marriage is never a baby or adolescence affair. God, indeed established the institution of marriage for adults for Adam and Eve were not children. Adulthood is the period in the human lifespan in which full physical and intellectual maturity have been attained. Adulthood is commonly thought of as beginning at age 20 or 21 years (Encyclopedia Brittanica).
There is a saying that one who is not beautiful at twenty, wise at thirty, and rich at forty will remain ugly, foolish and poor forever. So at the age of twenty, one is considered an adult. For you determine whether you are ripe for marriage, the following conditions must be met:
- You must be physically ready;
- You must be mentally sound and old enough to take decisions, and you must be capable of handling responsibilities expected in marriage;
- You must be emotionally stable and composed when faced with marital and family problems;
- You must be independent, and not living with your parents as a man. You should have your house even if it is a room;
- You must be vocationally prepared and have means of livelihood. You should not expect your parents to feed you and your spouse; and
- You must be spiritually ready You have to see marriage as God sees it and be willing to abide by its principles.
If you must have a happy and fulfilled married life, you must make a wise choice with regards to your life partner. Kindly refer to my earlier article titled, Ten Mistakes Singles Make when Choosing a Spouse. Let us briefly enumerate the guiding principles for selecting a mate. Your choice will determine the success of your marriage, and therefore it is needful to choose wisely; albeit it prayerfully. The principles are:
- Your life partner must be a Christian. Do not marry an unbeliever no matter the pressures you are subjected to by family or friends. Most people who marry outside their faith live in regret for the most of their lives.
- Don’t marry anyone because of their position in the society or their wealth. The money you see today may not be there tomorrow (2 Corinthians 4: 18).
- Don’t marry because of beauty are handsomeness. Rather go for a well mannered, good charactered Beauty and handsomeness fade with time.
- Never marry out of lust or infatuation, but marry based on love. You must love your partner. If you don’t love the person, don’t marry him or her. Marriage cannot survive without love.
- If your fiance or fiancee has a nasty temper, please think twice about going into such a marriage. Any person that has a spirit of anger cannot become a peaceful partner.
- Don’t marry a fornicator because such a person does not believe in the sanctity of marriage. A sexual pervert will never be satisfied with a partner and can easily break a marriage.
- Ensure that your intended life partner is humble.
- Never accept a demon possessed person as a life partner. Nothing is as frustrating as having a demon possessed person as a life partner. The spirits possessing the person will automatically be your direct enemies. If you love the person so much, be sure that the individual is delivered from the demons before you venture into marriage with him or her.
- Think twice before you marry a lazy person to avoid poverty and lack that will result in sufferings and sorrows.
- Don’t marry anyone with questionable character.
- You ought to have similar interest and values, as contrary interest will result in confrontation, confusion, and commotion which eventually kills peace, understanding, love and progress of the family.
- Ensure that your partner loves God and enjoys fellowship with God and the church.
- Take time out to get acquainted with the background of your proposed life partner. Delve into any history of divorce, madness, etc.
In all, make sure that your intended life partner is
- obedient to authority
- an asset and not a liability
- sexually appealing to you
- faithful and God fearing
- well mannered
- benevolent and above all,
- must be a heavenly candidate
Marriage is a mystery. It is the bringing together one previously separated body together. Every wife is supposed to be the one created out of the rib of the husband. For men, if you make the mistake pf marrying anybody that did not come out of you, that marriage is a sham, and it will slam in the end.
The only way out is for you to wait patiently, pray fervently, walk in the Spirit and act in faith. Let your marriage be Biblical. Deceiving your first life partner brings a curse and being a second wife is an abomination. In marriage, partners are expected to fulfil God’s purpose of promoting LOVE, UNDERSTANDING, PEACE, UNITY, HOLINESS AND POPULATING THE WORLD. Let these virtues be your primary purpose of wanting to get married, and God will grant your heart’s desires in Jesus’ name. Amen.
Article is written by Elder Bassey Okon of the Apostolic Church, Ikot Ekwere Itam Assembly, Akwa Ibom State, Nigeria.