When God created the institution of marriage, He laid out the roles of man and the woman in the sacred union. For a godly home to be built, husband and wife must first be aware of their respective roles and play their part to ensure that their marriage is a success. A godly home is one that reflects the relationship between Christ and the church.
The roles of the man in the home include but are not limited to the following:
- A Priest/Pastor: The word pastor is from the Greek word pomien which means a shepherd. Your family is the flock of sheep that need you as their authority figure and guide. The shepherd leads the flock of sheep to pasture and a true shepherd guards the sheep and brings them into the sheepfold. The husband is meant to point his family to Christ and leads them by example that they may all make it into the kingdom of God. He leads prayers in the home or delegates. He leads in fasting and Bible study and in every other area that requires his leadership. John Chapter 10 talks so much about the role of the shepherd. Remember that marriage is meant to reflect the relationship between Christ and the church.
- The Protector: A protector is defined as one who defends a person or group of people from something or someone. A protector is a defender, preserver, bodyguard, knight in shining armour (refer to John 10: 11-12). A husband is meant to protect his wife from all forms of dangers whether physical or otherwise. Protecting your family can only happen when the man has a sense of responsibility for them and a sense of loyalty. The Bible talks about the man leaving his father and mother and cleaving to his wife; this refers to not just the sexual intimacy in a marriage but loyalty to your new family. Once a man is loyal to his family, he is moved to defend them when necessary. There should be boundaries in the home such that even extended family members respect these limits. No one should be able to bully a man’s wife and kids in his presence.
- The Provider: A provider is defined as one who supplies something to another. The husband is the provider in the home. Refer to 1 Timothy 5: 8. He must never neglect his role as the provider. This is the framework upon which the home is run. Ask the Lord to bless the work of your hands so that you can fulfil this responsibility. However, this does not mean that the wife should not support her husband where she can, but she must not usurp his role except of course it is due to unfortunate circumstances such as temporary disability or loss of a job. She should pray for speedy recovery and supernatural breakthrough to locate her husband so that he can be restored.
The Roles of the Woman of the woman in the home include the following:
- A Helper: This word is very broad. It refers to an assistant, a teammate, a supporter, a partner, A helper applies to someone who is focused on working with her leader or partner to achieve a set goal or objective. A husband is a pilot in the home while the wife is a co-pilot. She must assist him in any area he needs her assistance for them to build a godly home.
- A Homemaker: This refers to the one who turns a ‘house’ into a ‘home’ (Proverbs 14: 1). This involves taking care of the domestics of the home which includes but not limited to providing meals in the home, keeping the home tidy, taking care of the children, teaching children the ways of the Lord, disciplining the kids when necessary and much It is wise to note that a husband should as much as it is possible assist in the domestics of the home just the way the wife is expected to support her husband by contributing to the finances in the home. A husband’s domestic support makes for the smooth running of the home and reduces the pressure on the woman, especially in the early years of nursing babies and taking care of toddlers.
- A Counsellor: A wife should be able to respectfully give her husband godly advice when necessary. She should not sit back and allow him make costly mistakes. She should encourage him and support him to live right and to do the right thing. An adverse effect of not advising a husband can be seen in the case of Ananais and Sapphira – if only Sapphira had spoken up and warned her husband against lying to Apostle Peter concerning the proceeds of the land the sold. Alas, she didn’t, and there were grave consequences as can be read the book of Acts 5: 1-10. A positive effect of a wife giving good counsel to her husband can be seen in the case of Pilate whose wife advised him not to have anything with the killing of Jesus, because of what she had dreamt about Jesus. Pilate hearkened to his wife’s advice hence his requesting for water to wash his hands off the crucifixion of Jesus as can be read in the book of Matthew 27:24.
Things That Result in An Ungodly Home
- Unforgiveness – Matthew 6: 14-15
- Bitterness – Job 21: 25
- Malice – Ephesians 4: 31
- Selfishness – Philippians 2: 3
- Deceit – 1 Thessalonians 2: 3
- Indiscipline – 1 Samuel 2: 12-36
- Gossiping about one’s spouse – Acts 13: 50
- Infidelity on the part of either spouse – Matthew 5: 28
- Greed – Jude 1: 11
The list of things that could result in an ungodly home is endless just as the roles of the husband and wife are not limited to the ones that have been listed in this article. It is my prayer that there shall be an abundance of the Lord’s grace made available to every man and woman in the institution of marriage so that marriages shall truly reflect the relationship between Christ and His bride, the Church. Amen.